I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize