if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
