Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
