shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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