I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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