at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
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