I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
