shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i think i have two assholes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
