then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
accomplished twins. life is a go
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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