Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
