I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize