another moral hangover. fuck.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize