He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
