i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
