if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
