well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
