garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
