What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
