Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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