Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think your dad took our porno
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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