Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
