So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize