who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
