shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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