Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
This house was built for laser tag.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
