fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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