Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
