Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
