i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
