She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
