I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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