It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
