Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
