dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
