i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
