i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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