Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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