The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
