Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
