Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize