Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
