i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
