We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
