I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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