the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
