If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
