I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
