We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
