i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize