I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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