You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
