Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
3pm strippers are depressing
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize