I don't think brook has ever known best
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
