P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
