it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think your dad took our porno
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize