Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize