I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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