This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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