I'm so fucking centered right now
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
