you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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