Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i think im in europe. pls send help
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
