But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
