i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
