I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
