you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My breasts were aching with rage.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
