so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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