Sry I called you an 8
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Sober January is a disaster.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
