with your own penis?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Non-Jews are for practice
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
