i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
