I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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