Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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